It took the conviction of Hunter Biden, the son of President Joe Biden, for me to conclude that the most significant thing that would happen to the United States of America is for Donald Trump to return to the White House.

When Hunter Biden was found guilty of lying about drug use while buying a gun, his father issued a statement saying he was disappointed at the outcome of the trial but that he still had confidence in the jury system. What kind of nonsense statement is that?

When Trump was found guilty of falsifying business records, he did what every sensible and responsible man would do. He attacked the prosecutors, judge, jury, and the city where the trial took place. He said if he had the power, he would have moved the trial to a city where he could get a fair trial and not New York City littered with sinners, Trump haters, and socialists.

I am already preparing for Trump’s second coming.

I have checked how many people a train from Chicago to Los Angeles can transport in one trip. It turns out that it will take 1000 people at once. I checked the Boston to Los Angeles route, too. I’m figuring out how long it will take Donald Trump to deport 14 million illegal immigrants in America back to Latin America.

Because I am compassionate, I thought about collateral damages. I calculated how many people real Americans would harass, attack, and kill in the process.

I used the figures of how many people died during the partition of India in 1947. I know it won’t be anything like that. But I didn’t want to use a conservative estimate on possible deaths and displacements. In India, over one million people died, and 10 – 20 million people were displaced.

Even though I do not expect a number like that, I am sure the United States can live with casualties of that magnitude. After all, during the US Civil War, over 620,000 died out of a population of about 32 million. With a population of 333 million today, the US can afford to lose 6 million people, which is today’s equivalent of the Civil War casualty. We can have another 30 million displaced without any problem.

The most important thing is that the collateral damages would be worth it. I saw empty houses that would open up in Boston, Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, and other cities all over America. Home prices will drop, and our fellow MAGA, who now works at Wal-Mart, will have houses to buy. There would be ten million job openings. Companies will offer a minimum wage of $50 an hour to toilet cleaners, and school teachers will make six figures in Alabama.

For those worried about where replacement workers will come from, with abortion banned across America, saving 626,000 babies each year, real blue-blood American children would be born all over the country. I see the end of people from despicable countries coming to America to give birth so that their children would become US citizens.

For those nincompoops who still oppose the return of Donald Trump, let me remind you of one divine part that you have not considered.

Like Jesus Christ, Donald Trump left his father’s paradise in New York, where he shepherded his father’s business to greatness to come down to our level and serve us mere humans. You know how Jesus fed 5000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish; in 1975, Trump’s father gave him a loan of $60.7 million (about $600 million in today’s dollars). He turned that meager amount into the billions of dollars we now see at Trump universities, airlines, vodka, steaks, magazines, casinos, resorts, and hotels from New York to New Jersey, Florida, Scotland, and Moscow.

Like Jesus, Trump decided to put his life on the line to defeat the deep state and all its tributaries, including the original military-industrial complex, the woke gang, and the sneaky BLM. America must not miss this opportunity to reconcile with their founding fathers and the original saliva of their mouths, the living text of their constitution, and the patented pleasant smell of their farts.

As one of those wretched of this earth poisoning the blue blood of America, I have looked at this matter of Donald J. Trump critically. From all that I learned from the shithole country where I was born, I can say without any equivocation that Donald Trump is the man that America needs at this time.

Please don’t come for my head yet. I will explain in a moment.

You see, some people live in America, but they do not see America. They can correctly spell America but not see the letter k in it. The so-called decline of America has been nothing but the inability of its citizens to embrace the true American essence, which Trump epitomizes.

American essence is not just a perpetual performance of an experiment on the sustainability of the “government of the people for the people and by the people.” It is, more importantly, a constant renewal of the bold and brave DNA that inspired the founders of the United States to cross seven seas and seven rivers to arrive at God’s own country built on the shining mountain.

Who else embodies this divine invocation other than Donald Trump? Who else exhumes that childlike naivety that drives great explorers of yore? Who else spews the bombastic confidence of the dragon slayers who chart new paths along dreaded frontiers full of vicious natives? Who else massages his own ego in the worship of a thirsty Id? How else do you make a great leader? Where else in Western civilization can you find a leader willing to turn some of his people into expendable for the good of all?

To renew the American hope, you need to enslave some Americans to do the kind of work that enslaved Africans did for 400 years. There is just no other way. Don’t listen to what liberals and socialists say.

Our forefathers were right. When it is time for a dog to die, placing heaps of feces on its path will not stop it from proceeding at maximum speed to where a car will knock it down.

I am ready to welcome Donald J. Trump back to the White House on January 20, 2025. I will be a CNN analyst that day, helping Americans understand what Trump’s 2nd term in office will look like. I will tell them the kind of things liberals and socialists told Germans in the 1930s. These were things Germans did not listen to and later regretted.

After several false starts, America is finally getting it right. Things that killed other great empires before America are not finally going to kill her. Thanks to Trump. Only Trump is going to stop what was written from being fulfilled.

Please correct me if I am right.

Ogoo Okonkwo teaches Post-Colonial African History, Afrodiasporan Literature, and African Folktales at the School of Visual Arts in New York City. He is also the host of the Dr. Damages Show. His books include “This American Life Sef” and “Children of a Retired God,” among others. His upcoming book is called “Why I’m Disappointed in Jesus.”