The Media Awards are not altogether useless. A cinematic caricature of a country that has integrated clowning into the core of its political culture. They are trash, but they tell a bit of our story.  I have been to a few of them. The expensive venues are part of the hype. An intricate ritual in overflowing self-deceit.

The politicians come in Christmas clothes with friends and family. All seemingly ignorant of the irony of the sham. Squirrels are being celebrated as lions. Because all of them get it, it should be worth nothing. And most times, in those halls, behind the first rows, where the TV cameras feast, the ceremony is disorderly and aloof 

The Media Awards tell a pathetic national story. The watchdogs’ insidious metamorphosis into lapdogs. All crooked politicians in the country have tens of these supposedly prestigious awards. Every emerging dumb politician who has the capacity to rig elections or use the judiciary will win as many of these awards as he wants. He will be honoured by the noblest of media houses, by those entrusted by the public to dig deep, name, and shame him. This naked bastardisation should make the awards repulsive to everyone. Yet every year, the media houses will manufacture new awards for old and new corrupt and indolent politicians. The same old politicians who have run and ruined the country 

The cunning politicians know the elaborate choreography is dubious. After all, everyone knows unearned praise. Even children are often not fooled by unclothed flattery. But the politicians also know that the masses are credulous and impressionable. So, the politicians don’t mind the shady validation from some of these ambivalent and unscrupulous media houses. Some media houses sell their awards. Some use them as libation poured to the gods. By these counterfeit awards, the politicians procure the wool to hoodwink the naive electorate. A paint to whitewash the sepulchre. Politics is dirty, and in Nigeria, some  media houses and banks are the principal  laundrymen

The other day, a minister was named the Best Minister at one of these awards. Even if all governors and ministers perform abysmally, one must be selected to be honoured. Sometimes, a multiplicity of award categories is created to accommodate all interested ministers and governors. This minister came first for borrowing loads of money to build a few roads in a territory that has many wretched public schools and no functional public transport system. He filled the podium with his family and friends.

There, he said that he would have deemed the award panel dishonest and petty if he had not been chosen. That was how much respect the supercilious man showed for his cabinet colleagues in public. It had to be him. He won the award despite widespread allegations of casual land grabbing, allegations of highhandedness in dealing with poor masses, and allegations of attempting to capture and transform his state into a personal empire.

Many say the promiscuity of straddling two parties can be forgiven. But this minister’s uncouth utterances, alleged ordination of instability in his state and orchestration of crises in one of the national parties make him an unworthy candidate for any award that measures morality. A respected newspaper house ought to engage in some investigative journalism, look below the surface and reach profound moral conclusions in order to promote probity, decency and decent politics and governance. But this is Nigeria. 

Every day, media houses rue lousy governance. Every day, media houses manufacture awards to launder the very filthy and greedy politicians who have set the country on the path of near inexorable economic and moral collapse. Every year, the media houses arrange laughable ceremonies to wash politicians, abetting and perpetuating the embezzlement of public treasury, election rigging and political decadence indirectly.

Does the Nigerian media suffer from a compulsive obsession to give out awards? Every day in the print and electronic media, it’s all stories of institutional rot and moral destitution in public office. Every arm of government, from the local councils to the federal government, is implicated. The enormity of misgovernance and its calamitous impact on the citizenry are captured fairly sufficiently by the media in daily reportage. So why don’t these media houses allow their daily reporting to affect their obscene determination to glorify these politicians at these award ceremonies? The dissonance is curious.

But that’s the national story. Charlatanism and opportunism rule. Media houses are now endangered. They see all the filth up close. Media houses thrive in publishing them. But they need to survive. So when done of them repudiate professional ethics and relegate commonsense to dwell in putting lipstick on pigs, they should be pitied. It’s a tragedy. Even politicians who have become so inept that the grossness of their misconduct no longer shocks the public. Even people whose scandals are now so mundane they are not worthy of public opprobrium. Even politicians whose routine atrocities now feed the streets with humour rather than disgust. They all get these awards. Who can save this country? Some say only one or two media houses have integrity. Who is sure?

MO Ibrahim has a five-million-dollar prize for exemplary leadership in Africa. No Nigerian leader has ever won it since it was instituted in 2007. Do you know why? The award is not cheap. Not because a Nigerian politician cannot buy the five million dollar prize with fifty million dollars. Nigerian politicians have the requisite lust. However, the organisers have a superior moral objective. They are not going to gift a crooked or mediocre politician honour and five million dollars.

They are not pouring any libations to any gods. They have nothing to expect in return. They are not in any childish rivalry with anyone. They don’t need anyone to sustain them with advert placements. The association with any politician cannot enhance them. They cannot be intimidated or emasculated by any vindictive politician. These are the differences. When the Ibrahim Award organisers don’t find a suitable candidate, they wait till the following year. They haven’t handed out an award since 2020. 

In Nigeria, awards are sometimes  Hawked. Some media houses call up government officials to sound them out. Like a man buying a fake Rolex watch in a traffic jam in Lagos, the procuring politician probably knows the media house is a  hungry  Esau. But he buys it directly or indirectly. A counterfeit Rolex like cheap award is ordinarily useless. The buyer isn’t interested in its ability to keep it. But if the buyer of the Rolex watch has impressionable people in his neighbourhood, he might win their adulation before sweat washes away the shininess. The minister who won the recent award said the masses were happy he won the big prize. 

Who will save this country?