How does one keep their job as a servant under Nigerian rulers? This is not a difficult question to answer. Every true Nigerian knows the answer. In a simple sentence: one only needs to be a chronic sycophant. To retain one’s political job in Nigeria does not require efficiency at the job. One needs not to be diligent, intelligent, or functional. What a political appointee needs most is their ability to tell lies when truth is too obvious to deny and the ability to excel in sycophancy.

If an almighty minister like Wike is afraid of losing his job, who should not be afraid among Tinubu’s appointees? But why should Wike be afraid of losing his job? Could it be that he is unlearning sycophancy and wants to be honest? I don’t think this is the case. It is almost impossible to keep one’s job as an honest political appointee in present day Nigeria. If you are in doubt, listen to the recently appointed Special Adviser to President Bola Ahmed Tinubu on Policy Communication, Daniel Bwala. 

In an interview with Arise News, Bwala illustrated what is required to keep one’s job as political appointee or to get a political job. To keep one’s job,  honesty and integrity must be put to shame. You could be a top critic of any of Nigerian rulers today and utter many abominable things against them. If you know your way, I assure you, you can still wine and dine with them. Just assure them that, despite your noisemaking, you lack integrity and that you can do anything for food. You are good to go! 

Those who know the former Bwala and the current Bwala would understand better. In that interview, Bwala said:  “I no longer believe Tinubu corruptly won the election…At that time, I was simply playing politics and didn’t care.” With this, Bwala has silenced his detractors who think he does not deserve spokesperson’s job.

This is the general behavioral display expected of political appointees. But I don’t see Wike doing this. The FCT Minister is different. He is focused on his job. He wants to show results. Yes, anyone can hate him for his megalomaniac display in Rivers State. You can question him on why he is inadvertently destroying his state (or is it advertently?) But let’s commend him for his businesslike manner and his egalitarian remarks in his recent visit to a school in FCT, Abuja. Or is there something I am getting wrong?

One would think it is not the same Wike who feels bigger than his state (Rivers) and wants to be worshipped. In Abuja, Wike is a different man—a humble man. What about the occasional madness? I think that is only resorted to to get his work done. It isn’t a permanent thing about him as some people want us to believe. Wike, as if an exemplary leader, warned school principals against releasing students who should be learning during school hours to welcome him while on visit. Wike was obviously displeased at the practice of bringing students out of their classrooms to line up on roads to welcome officials. 

Instead of emphasizing ceremonial protocols that ordinarily massage the egos of Nigerian rulers, Wike, surprisingly, urged school principals across the FCT to prioritize the welfare and education of students. He said: “It is not in our culture, and this will be the last time to see this happen. Nobody should bring students out of their school to line up on the road. We will not accept that any longer. Our children deserve the best”.

This is strange! It is not our culture to line up on the road to welcome our rulers? Perhaps Wike wanted to say we should put an end to that ugly culture of lining up to welcome rulers who do not deserve hospitality. Well, I hope Wike meant what he said. I hope he is not pretending to be humble. I hope he will not chastise people for not rising up to greet him tomorrow.

The Minister also ordered immediate rehabilitation of the dilapidated school infrastructure. There, he made a remark which has kept me wondering. He said “The government of Bola Tinubu will not accept this, I will not accept this. I will not accept this as a school for our people to have quality education…I am sure if Mr President comes here and sees that this is a school, our children are learning. I will lose my job. I don’t want to lose my job.”

If President Tinubu would not accept dilapidated class rooms, why does he accept regular national grid collapse which is a more serious issue than dilapidated class rooms? Why does he accept delay in payment of civil servant salaries without any reasonable explanation?  Why does he accept to pay workers 70k minimum wage when he knows it is not a living wage? Why does he accept to see Nigerian roads in shambles without a declaration of emergency on road infrastructure? Is he not also aware that Nigerians under him are living as “dilapidated” entities? Perhaps we should read sycophancy into Wike’s remarks. Can we say Wike sycophantically painted President Tinubu as a no-nonsense man who must be shown results for a job perfectly done in order not to be fired as appointee? Many Nigerians will agree it is sycophancy by other means.

I have a contrary interpretation. While I don’t think Wike sees the President as a no-nonsense man, he is indirectly telling President Tinubu to wake up to his responsibilities. Tinubu should sack all appointees who have no result to show. He should appoint people—like him—on merit for the country to progress.

But let’s be certain about this: when sycophancy gets you a job, only sycophancy can make you not to lose the job. When are rulers are finally ready to get things done the way they ought to be done, they will keep sycophants at bay and bring sincere, competent, and candid people closer. When comedians take the position of experts on CNG, you can tell the kind of people the President is surrounded with and why the President should feel bad that our children are learning in dilapidated classes.

May we get it right.