Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor; and if one is a member of a captive population, economically speaking, one’s feet have simply been placed on the treadmill forever.” — James’Baldwin.
The latest talk at the moment is the story of Hakimi Achraf, a PSG FC player and his ex spouse, Hiba Abouk, a Spanish actress, over a divorce case that brought along a controversy when Hiba – after filing for a divorce and demanding more than half of Hakimi’s fortune – discovered that 80% of Hakimi’s assets were registered in his mother’s name.
Almost everyone was surprised about the move by Hakimi. Some condemned him for being unfaithful to his wife while many commended him for his smart move. Even the latter have been showering praises on him for enlightening them on how well to manage their fortunes.
Well, I’ll not like to take sides here, but will only ponder on what might likely encourage Hakimi to take such move. Of course the couple have two children, and I think this ought to stand as a strong bond to encourage both to have unbreakable commitment to each other. But the question is: are children really the everlasting seal that prevents husband and wife from coming apart? Or, are they really the major influence that makes a marriage work?
Hakimi was accused of attempting to rape a 24 year old woman in his matrimonial home while his wife and the children were on holiday, but he (Hakimi) has since been denying the allegation. Though this was not the reason for filling for divorce. Just let’s think about this. A 24 year old woman, who was never bundled, or shoved into someone”s matrimonial home, accused a man of attempting to rape her? Do you also call this a rape?
Hakimi’s wife, Hiba Abouk, believed every word of the accusation against her husband even during the time that her husband, Hakimi, was still denying the allegation. Hiba didn’t want to act like Hillary Clinton, who stood by his husband, Bill Clinton, despite the fact that the allegation of sexual relationship between Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, a White House intern, was confirmed.
Even if the case of divorce was already being proposed, I expected Hiba to believe her spouse until the allegation was thoroughly investigated. What could have caused her unfavorable attitude towards a case that could ruin her partner’s career? She didn’t even care to protect her two innocent children who might likely be affected by the allegation against their father.
It seems to me there was never a trust between the couple right from the beginning of their relationship, and this, I think, could have prompted Hakimi to depend on his mother’s trust rather than his wife’s. And again, another thing I believe could have encouraged him to take such step could be one or two intances he had seen from the experiences of some of African football players, whose fortunes, through the trusts they reposed in their spouses, had gone down the drain.
Emmanuel Ebuoe was an ex international football player. He represented his country, Ivory Coast, in many national and international football tournaments. He also played, and made a great impact in an English football club, Arsenal FC.
Ebuoe, an uneducated and a product of an underprivileged background, saw how his parents struggled to make ends meet. He experienced how it was difficult for his parents to take care of him and his siblings. Right from toddler to teen age, Eboue saw poverty in the face. He knew what it meant to be poor.
But through divine intervention, Eboue was able to say goodbye to poverty. His talent and skills in football singled him out of poverty. He was catapulted right from poverty-stricken condition to a life of luxury. Life started getting better for him. He didn’t forget his parents and siblings back home. He extended part of the luxury to them. Eboue strived and promised never to return to poverty again.
Now that wealth had come, Eboue, remembered the words in the bible: “God loved man, and he did not want him to be alone”. Arsenal’s right back player (Eboue) proposed to a Belgian damsel, and both got married.
Yes, Eboue only read a part in the Bible, but failed to read further. I believe if he had read how Eve stood as Adam’s downfall, he would have tarried or lingered a little. Eboue put all his investments in his Belgian wife’s care for he never thought of separation between him and his erstwhile loving wife.
But like it occasionally happens in some marriages, they were separated. All what Eboue had worked for became his wife’s. And this left him with nothing. His fortunes vanished in twinkling of an eye. And according to report, Eboue battled with mental illness because it seemed he had lost all hope.
Tendai Ndoro is another African footballer whose fortunes gone like that of Eboue. Ndoro is a Zimbabwean, who once played for Orlando Pirate FC in South Africa. He got hooked up with Thando Maseko, and they got married. During the time that the going was good, Ndoro, like Eboue, registered all his assets including his Estates in his wife’s name. But along the line, the once sweet relationship turned sour. Ndoro’s wife, Maseko, filed for divorce, and without a slight hesitation, she kicked Ndoro out of his Estates and seized all his assets leaving him with nothing.
Judging on these incidents, how can anyone blame any African football player, who had seen how some fortunes of those before him had gone or disappeared like a meteor/shooting star if he tries to apply caution in his own case? Perhaps the experiences of Eboue and Ndoro were the major influences that propelled Hakimi’s decision to place his trust in his mother rather than in his wife.
I’ll not advise anyone to go the way of Hakimi or not to go his way. This, I believe, should depend on the direction one’s relationship points to. This is the reason I do not agree with those who have been saying that Hakimi has taught them a great lesson on how to manage their fortunes. Also I won’t disagree with them provided they have convincing reasons for this school of thought. Trusting one’s wife or one’s husband depends on the kind of relationship between both over the years of being together. This life is vice versa (Oun tó ko’jú s’énìkan, èyìn ló ko s’élòmí).
To stay impartial here, we need to ask this question: can you, as a man, also be trusted by your spouse?