Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Nyesom Wike, has said he will not stop the Rivers State House of Assembly from performing its Constitutional duties.

Wike said he foresaw the current political crisis in the state and advised his successor, Governor Siminalayi Fubara, to take that route, but the latter refused, surrounding himself with people who are ‘ingrates’.

Wike stated this during a Thanksgiving/Civic Reception held on Saturday in Abalama in Asari-Toru Local Government Area of Rivers State by some Ijaw stakeholders under the aegis of New Associates Kalabari.

He berated the governor for withholding the salaries and allowances of the Martin Amaewhule-led 27 lawmakers because those supporting him told him nothing would happen.

 
The immediate past Governor said his only sin was because he told the governor to ensure that he took care of those who supported him and worked for his emergence and not to abandon them when he emerged.

Wike stated, “The primaries came (PDP primaries). Today, the governor said he was not going to run and that my Commissioner of Finance, Isaac Kamalu, should be the one to run.

“What did we do wrong? We said all the council chairmen suffered. All the Assemblymen suffered. National Assemblymen suffered for you to become governor. Therefore, don’t abandon them.

“That was the only offence I committed’ and then they said every time I’m asking for money. Which money am I asking for? Okay, thank you. Has the money come?

He continued, “Those they are sharing the money to, how far? What I always tell people to remember yesterday. A man is bad, a man is a crook, a man is a criminal, but it was that criminal, it was that crook who said come, take against all odds. If I hated the Ijaw people, I would not have conceded to it, and nothing would have happened, but because of my principle of living and letting live.

 
“If you watch all those around the governor, they are people who are natural ingrates. Only those who believe that they cannot appreciate and thank God for any good thing will associate themselves. I told the governor that all these things you are seeing are not good for you to face this crisis. But they told him you’re Governor, you have money. I agree. Money is not everything. All these people don’t have anything to offer. See where we are now. How far!

While nothing, many of the projects in the state now, including the Ring Road, were initiated by him and handed over to the governor to endear himself to the River people. He challenged the governor to mention one that he initiated.

“It is not to abuse us. You can abuse me as much as you want, and let me tell you, I have never bothered myself because abuse does not kill anybody. What is important is the result. Is it not?

“Who has High Blood Pressure now? Not them? We we dey sit down dey enjoy. They have high blood pressure. This is what I was avoiding I said look, don’t go through this route. They told you to seize assembly members’ salaries and allowances for more than one year.

“These people have no income to pay their children’s school fees or feed their families, and you were jubilating. People were encouraging you, and nothing will happen. Something has happened.

“And let me tell you I’m not going to stop the assembly from performing their Constitutional duty. The assembly should be allowed to perform its constitutional duty. People who love peace don’t threaten people.

“Assembly people should do their work. Whatever they deem necessary that is Constitutional they should do. I’m not going to stop anybody from carrying out his or her powers. I will not do that.”

Recall that the assembly on Friday adjourned its sittings indefinitely just when the governor had written to the Speaker informing the House of his intentions to present the 2025 Appropriation Bill to the lawmakers on Wednesday, March 19, 2025.

[Punch]

... Urge President Tinubu to sack FCT Minister

The Niger Delta youth chapter of the apex socio-political body for the South-South geopolitical zone, the Pan Niger Delta Forum (PANDEF), has issued a 48-hour ultimatum to Nyesom Wike, the minister of the Federal Capital Territory Administration (FCTA), to retract his publicly disparaging remarks against the Ijaw nation and the leaders of this socio-political body.

 
According to the youths, it was embarrassing that Wike insulted the late former Federal Commissioner for Information and South-South Leader, Chief Edwin Clark, even in death without respecting him.

Addressing journalists on Saturday, the National Youth President of the Youth Wing, Doben Donyegha, who gave the ultimatum, said that it was annoying that Wike abused the leaders of the South-South geopolitical zone less than 24 hours after its delegation met with the President at the Presidential Villa in Abuja.

Recall that the FCT minister had, on Thursday, during a media chat, described PANDEF as “the worst organisation anybody can rely on”, while also calling the board of trustee members of the body “political merchants”.

Donyegha, who also urged President Bola Tinubu to immediately sack the minister from his cabinet, said that the youth wing no longer had confidence in him and that keeping Wike in his cabinet may affect the president’s re-election chances in the Niger Delta come 2027.

The President of the PANDEF youths also asked the Code of Conduct Bureau to investigate the minister, alleging land-grabbing activities in the FCT.

Details later…

[Vanguard]

Since Nigeria’s last military ruler, Abdulsalami Abubakar handed over the reins of power to a democratically elected government on May 29, 1999, his visage has undergone very remarkable transmutation. Abubakar, a four-star General, handed over to a more senior colleague, Olusegun Obasanjo, who previously led Nigeria as military Head of State, between February 1976 and October 1979.

Abubakar, hitherto known for his clean-shaved chin characteristic of the martial vocation, has since worn a luxuriant grey beard. He had a long and successful career in the military which spanned 36 years. The first three years of his military stewardship were spent in the Nigerian Airforce. This was before he switched over to the Nigerian Army in 1966. Every morning in the course of his remarkable career, he stood before the mirror in his bathroom to give himself that smooth, clean face. Rare exemptions from this norm in the armed forces were small numbers, more specifically from the Nigerian Navy. Perhaps because they regularly have to be on the waters and seas, they had something of an exemption from the age old tradition of clean chins in the military trade.

Onetime military governor of the old Niger State who would subsequently become Chief of Naval Staff, Admiral Murtala Nyako, was the first military officer I noticed spotting a beard. Subsequently, Emmanuel Olu Omotehinwa, a Rear Admiral, (of blessed memory); Jubril Ayinla, a Vice Admiral, and Amadi Ikwechegh, a Commodore, were other officers whose profiles were defined by their well-kept beards. It would seem Abdulsalami Abubakar was in a great hurry to transmute into a new brand, in retirement. He really coveted a change of looks. Barely had he quit the political stage therefore, than he emerged with his now characteristic brand new grey look. In nearly 26 years now, Abubakar has settled into farming, which seems to be the pastime of many former military leaders. Obasanjo blazed the trail with his famous Otta Farms, back in the early 1980s. Nyako earned the alias Baba Mai Mangoro, (father and farmer of mango on an industrial scale), on account of his humongous investment in agriculture back home in Adamawa State.

Africa is one continent where the allure of political power has culminated in the transmutation of many leaders into sit-tight despots. Abdulsalami Abubakar won global plaudits for pursuing and delivering transition to democracy within a relatively short period of 11 months. He had promised the world at the United Nations General Assembly, (UNGA) in September 1998, that he was a man of his words. He decidedly therefore, differed from the rhetoric of one of his predecessors who popularised the duplicitous refrain: This administration will not stay a day longer in office than necessary. Abubakar delivered to global adulation, with hopes that Nigeria with its enormous human and natural capital, could provide the desired leadership to unlock the potentials of Africa. Nigeria previously exhibited aspects of its capacity and capability when it almost singlehandedly funded and led a 10-nation multinational military force between 1990 and 1999, to restore peace and democracy in Liberia and Sierra Leone. It was the first ever such Africa-initiated and driven military coalition, which was largely successful.

Abdulsalami Abubakar thereafter, became the toast of the world. He has chaired the Commonwealth Observer Group for Zimbabwe’s parliamentary election; served as Special Envoy of the United Nations Secretary-General to the Republic of Congo, and led the Carter Centre delegation for the monitoring of the Zambian national elections. Abubakar has functioned as President of the African Strategic and Peace Research Group; as Economic Community of West African States, (ECOWAS); Facilitator/Mediator for the Liberian Peace Talks, and Special Envoy of the Chairman of the African Union, (AU) to Chad and Sudan. He has been the Commonwealth Secretary-General’s Special Envoy to Gambia; Member of the AU High-Level Implementation Panel on Sudan, (AUHIP), and is presently working for the AU on negotiations in Sudan.

In August 2023, Abubakar, now a renowned statesman, led the ECOWAS delegation put in place by Nigeria’s President, Bola Tinubu, to intervene in the political crisis in neighbouring Niger Republic. Within weeks of his inauguration as Nigerian President, Tinubu was entrusted with the leadership of the regional body and the Nigerien crisis was the first test of his problem-solving capability. The Abdulsalami Abubakar team engaged with Nigerien putschists, who toppled the democratic government hitherto led by President Mohammed Bazoum, in Niger Republic, in consonance with its mandate at the time. Accompanied by the Sultan of Sokoto, Muhammad Sa’ad Abubakar III, himself a retired Brigadier-General, Abubakar’s group held bouts and bouts of meetings in Niamey, with the coup leader and former head of the presidential guards, Abdourahamane Tchiani, to no avail. Such has been the ever growing international stature of Abdulsalami Abubakar.

Back home, Abdulsalami Abubakar continues to avail Nigeria his time and aggregate experience in various ways. He chairs the National Peace Committee, (NPC), which is principally committed to the peaceful conduct of elections. The NPC routinely brings together political gladiators to a common table, admonishing them to commit to eschewing rancour and violence, during the electoral process. He is the Chancellor and Chairman of the Board of Trustees of PAMO University of Medical Sciences, located in Port Harcourt, Rivers State. He has continued to receive honours and accolades from various agencies and institutions. On October 15, 2016 for instance, the Abeokuta-based Crescent University, honoured him with a doctorate in Public Administration. Such is the manner of ascendancy Abdulsalami Abubakar’s stock has continued to elicit.

Back in October 2021, I had written about the tragic inferno which consumed the Ebeano Mall, a one-stop shop for residents of the districts abutting its location in Abuja. It was widely adopted as the indigenous variant of Shoprite, in districts contiguous with its location. The wholesale destruction was ascribed to the mischief of a little girl shopper who reportedly lit a match stick and threw it in a section of the huge store, where explosive products were kept. This culminated in a huge fire and bomb-like blasts. This subsequently brought Ebeano Supermarket down and has remained bothersome to me, given the magnitude of this private investment. I was listening to the radio in my car one of those days as I drove around trying to clear a mental block. I heard that that same edifice which was razed to rubble during that unfortunate incident, had indeed reinvented itself like the Sphinx! Out of curiosity, I decided to course through the Apo/Gudu/Gaduwa/Lokogoma conjoined districts in Abuja, so I could see with my own eyes the magical resurrection of the supermarket.

As I drove, my eyes caught this huge billboard on the road linking Gudu market with the Ebeano end of the road. It is a single lane which I was told was built by the proprietor of Ebeano Supermarket, in exercise of corporate social responsibility. Uncovered concrete drainages, run on both sides of the road. Sand silts in the drains were being evacuated as I moved and patchwork on failed sections of the road by direct labour was in progress. The billboard I saw announced that the shop was indeed back. The gridlock at the Lokogoma end of the road meant commuters could only snail along. I looked at the same signboard again and observed that the road we were plying, is named Abdulsalami Abubakar Road after all! I read the board a second time and was reminded that it is indeed the geographical memorabilia assigned to the name of the former Head of State.

As you drive around Nigeria’s capital Abuja, names of prominent Nigerians, Africans and global figures reverberate from signages across the city. They rejig your sense of history and geography as they beam from street and road markers. The Ahmadu Bellos, Johnson Aguiyi-Ironsis, Yakubu Gowons, Obafemi Awolowos, Murtala Mohammeds, Olusegun Obasanjos, TY Danjumas, Shehu Shagaris, Alex Ekwuemes, Muhammadu Buharis, Ibrahim Babangidas, Ebitu Ukiwes, Sani Abachas, Atiku Abubakars, Umaru Yar’Aduas, Goodluck Jonathans, Bola Tinubus, Oladipo Diyas, Mike Akhigbes, breathe from major roads and monuments. The Nelson Mandelas, Sam Nujomas, Robert Mugabes, Jimmy Carters, Bill Clintons, Margaret Thatchers, Andrew Youngs, Jesse Jacksons and similar global figures are immortalised by the affixing of their names to reputable landmarks.

Abdulsalami Abubakar was one of the dignitaries who attended the public launch of Babangida’s memoir, A Journey in Service last February. Babangida used the opportunity to clarify his role in the contentious annulment of the June 12, 1993 presidential election won by Moshood Kashimawo Olawale Abiola, under his regime. This has continued to generate robust conversations, especially against the backdrop that Babangida put the blame squarely at the doorstep of Sani Abacha, his Chief of Defence Staff and Minister of Defence who is not with us to state his side of the saga. Abacha torpedoed the Interim National Government, (ING), which Babangida hurriedly put together as he scurried off in retirement to his home state, Niger. General Abdulsalami Abubakar turns 83 on Friday June 13, 2025. For his uncommon integrity in fulfilling his promise to berth democracy timeously in Nigeria, for his continuing service and commitment to Nigeria and the world at large, a road named after him in Abuja, the capital city of his country deserves a planned face-lift.

With the approach of Abdulsalami Abubakar’s 83rd birthday on Friday June 13, 2025, Nyesom Wike the Minister for the Federal Capital Territory, (FCT), needs to “bake” a very befitting “cake” to commemorate the event. Abubakar midwifed the uninterrupted democracy we have savoured in nearly 26 years now, much as the citizenry have been successively shortchanged by various regimes. Wike will do well to visit, assess and energise the professional and proper development of the subsisting backwater road, which is presently festooned with the name of Abdulsalami Abubakar. Let’s give honour to whom honour is due. Let’s
acknowledge this unobtrusive patriot now that he is very much with us. This is the most appropriate time he he will appreciate such an honour. We need to act expeditiously. We needn’t dither until the grey- bearded, soft-spoken old soldier goes the way of our forebears.

Olusunle, PhD, Fellow of the Association of Nigerian Authors, (FANA), is an Adjunct Professor of Creative Writing at the University of Abuja.

With a 129km coastline – the longest in the country – and many inland waterways, Akwa Ibom state is designing new schemes to exploit the huge potentials in its maritime economy. And this costs a lot of money. The government is building a deep sea port designed for very large vessels that can load over 13,000 containers in one voyage. It is a joint venture with the Nigerian Port Authority with the Singapore-based Global Maritime & Port Services PTE Limited as the transaction driver.

The government is pleading with the Tinubu administration for the full support of the federal government to realise the construction of the deep sea port as the other ports in the country, especially the ones in Lagos, are congested. In the meantime, the state government is also developing a modern maritime infrastructure in the coastal town of Oron to facilitate trade and water transportation, boost tourism and reap the benefits of the maritime economy. The project includes a terminal building, new cargo jetty, ferry jetty and joint task force (JTF) jetty.

There will be a high-capacity storage facility for warehouse, dry storage and cold room, in addition to the provision of shoreline and embankment protection facility. To boost water transportation between the state and neighbouring Cross River state, the government has already ordered Nigerian Naval Shipyard Limited, a subsidiary of the Nigerian Navy, to build two luxury ferries, one of which is expected to be delivered later this year. Each ferry will carry 150 passengers.

To encourage leisure and tourism, there is a provision for a garden at the beachfront and a facelift for the museum in the town. Rear Admiral Etop Ebe, the Superintendent of the Naval Shipyard, said the ferries would be built to international standards with consideration for safety and comfort.

The provision of a ferry service will essentially restore interstate passenger water transportation, which was the only mode of transport between the two states till the now dilapidated Calabar-Itu-Uyo highway was constructed in 1978. Gov. Umo Eno said at the flag-off of construction work that the project is meant to ‘’ignite the renewal and renaissance of Oron as a thriving beachfront town’’. Currently, over 1,000 workers are employed at this construction stage, according to Fassal Harb, the chief executive of Bulletin Construction Company, which is handling the project.

Developing the maritime economy, also known as the blue economy, is an important component of the governor’s economic blueprint. The blue economy creates jobs, drives up revenue, boosts tourism and recreation, facilitates transportation, and adds to GDP growth, among many other benefits.

Together with the N5 billion cash and equipment support the government is currently doling out to thousands of NMSES (nano, micro and small-scale enterprises), the new investments in the maritime sector should go a long way in stimulating rural economic activities. “My main objective is to create a secondary, rural-based economy in the state that will not only provide food to the urban markets, but ensures that our communities are more developed and livable,” the governor said.

With the investment in maritime infrastructure, the government is hoping to enhance food production through fishing and aquaculture. From generation to generation, Oron has been a major source of seafood in the country, and the provision of a cold room by the government as part of the infrastructural overhaul will further improve its supply.

Marine insecurity was a challenge in the past as pirates regularly mugged fishermen and farers. To curb this, Eno has created the ministry of internal & waterways security and appointed a retired army general as commissioner to curb security challenges in our waterways. The efforts have paid off. A marine JTF jetty and outpost together with solar-powered lighting will further enhance the security of the Oron beach.

Ibom Deep Sea Port is an important national infrastructure that the federal government ought to support wholeheartedly for the development of the maritime sector in the Gulf of Guinea. Nigeria will benefit enormously from it. Let’s get it done!

A group of Ijaw women have blocked the road in Asari Toru LGA of Rivers state to stop Nyesom Wike, minister of the federal capital territory (FCT), who is expected to visit the area today.

Fubara and Wike have been locked in a supremacy battle over control of the political structure of the state.

The rift has led to the polarisation of various interest groups in the state.
 
Recently, Wike reportedly referred to the Ijaw people as “minority of minorities in Rivers and other south-south states except Bayelsa.”
 
According to reports, the women are showing solidarity with the Ijaw people following Wike’s statement against the ethnic group located in the Niger Delta region.

The women staged a massive protest on the road to stop the former governor from passing through the road to attend an event organised to honour him.

On Friday, the Ijaw National Congress (INC) appealed to President Bola Tinubu to call Wike to order over his comments on the Ijaw.

 
“We will maintain peace and stability as we call on President Tinubu to caution him and redirect his focus to his ministerial duties,” the group said.

 
“The INC remains committed to preserving the harmony enjoyed by all in the Niger Delta region.

“We have taken note of the recent remarks made by the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory.”

[TheCable]

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Ordinarily, this press conference would have been dedicated solely to expressing PANDEF’s appreciation to His Excellency, President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, GCFR, for graciously receiving the high-level South-South delegation at the State House, Abuja, on Tuesday, March 11, 2025. However, we find it necessary to address a deeply concerning and regrettable development that has arisen in the aftermath of this visit—namely, the media chat conducted by the Honourable Minister of the Federal Capital Territory and former Governor of Rivers State, Chief Nyesom Wike, on Wednesday, March 12, 2025.

1. Purpose of the Visit to Mr. President

The visit to Mr. President, attended by eminent South-South leaders, including the region’s most senior traditional rulers, former governors, senators, ministers, retired senior military officers, business leaders, and other distinguished citizens, was held at the invitation of Mr. President himself. The meeting provided a valuable platform to discuss pressing issues of national and regional importance, including:

i. The imperative of peace in Rivers State and PANDEF’s ongoing mediatory efforts.

ii. The need for Presidential assent to the South-South Development Commission (SSDC) Bill, passed by the National Assembly, to ensure the region’s equitable development.

iii. Urgent infrastructure development, particularly road networks and the optimal utilization and expansion of existing and new ports.

iv. Resolution of socio-economic challenges affecting victims of the Bakassi crisis.

v. Strategies to enhance oil production and promote greater inclusion of South-South indigenes in the governance of the oil and gas sector.

vi. The necessity of a systematic environmental cleanup in oil-producing states.

vii. The continued advocacy for true federalism and restructuring.

2. PANDEF’s Expectations from the Engagement PANDEF and the people of the South-South expect that these issues, which Mr. President acknowledged with assurances of follow-up action, will be diligently pursued, leading to tangible progress in the near future.

Regarding the situation in Rivers State, PANDEF fully embraced Mr. President’s directive to the organization to sustain its ongoing mediatory and reconciliation efforts—an initiative he commended, recognizing the caliber of individuals involved.

Since that meeting, PANDEF has intensified engagements with key stakeholders, fostering dialogue to achieve an amicable resolution that guarantees lasting peace and harmony in Rivers State.

3. Disparaging Comments by the Honourable Minister

It is, therefore, both shocking and unfortunate that, barely 24 hours after this significant engagement with Mr. President—an engagement that rekindled hope for peace and stability— the Honourable Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Chief Nyesom Wike, held a media chat in which he launched an unwarranted and deeply inappropriate attack on PANDEF and its leadership.

In his remarks, the Honourable Minister characterized PANDEF as "the worst organization ever" and accused its members of visiting the Presidential Villa merely to solicit financial favors. These statements are not only false but also unbecoming of a public official of his stature.

Even more concerning was his disparaging remarks directed at revered South-South leaders, including the late Chief E.K. Clark, a national icon and former PANDEF leader, whose legacy was duly recognized by Mr. President during our visit, with a minute of silence observed in his honor. Equally unacceptable was the crude and disrespectful attack on another national treasure His Majesty, King Alfred Diete-Spiff, former Military Governor of Rivers State and current Chairman of PANDEF’s Board of Trustees.

4. PANDEF’s Stance

To set the record straight, PANDEF the foremost socio-political body representing the South-South regions, composed of some of Nigeria’s most distinguished personalities. The delegation to Mr. President included chairpersons of at least four of the six South South states' traditional councils, senior traditional rulers of major ethnic groups, former governors, past presiding officers of the Senate, prominent entrepreneurs, academics, and high-ranking retired military officers.

It is, therefore, highly regrettable and totally unacceptable that a serving minister in the Federal Government would exhibit such brazen disrespect towards individuals of this standing. This attitude perhaps explains his continued refusal of the Minister to engage with the Peace and Reconciliation Committee, which PANDEF constituted as far back as October 2024, despite repeated attempts to reach.

5. The Efforts of the Peace and Reconciliation Committee

For the avoidance of doubt, the Peace and Reconciliation Committee, which remains committed to resolving the Rivers State crisis, comprises distinguished statesmen, including:

- Obong Victor Attah, former Governor of Akwa Ibom State.

- Col. Pam Ogar, former Military Governor of Kwara State.

- H.E. Admiral Jonah John, former Deputy Governor of Bayelsa State.

- Chief Mrs. Stella Omu, Engr. Emmanuel Ibok-Essien and Sen. Roland Owie, all three at different times former Chief Whips of the Senate.

- Rt. Hon. Stella Dorgu, former leader in the House of Representatives.

While the Governor of Rivers State, Sir Siminalayi Fubara, has demonstrated willingness to engage with this committee, the Honourable Minister has consistently rebuffed all attempts to reach him opening up at dialogue. Given his open hostility and dismissive attitude toward PANDEF, the organization can no longer subject these esteemed senior Nigerians on peace mission to such levels of disregard and disrespect.

6. Appeal to Mr. President

PANDEF hereby calls upon Mr. President, as the father of the nation, to prevail upon the Honourable Minister to retract his inflammatory statements and extend due respect to these eminent Nigerians and traditional rulers who were, after all, esteemed guests of the Commander-in-Chief. It is apt to remind that the Minister does not own the Niger-Delta and his errant conduct should not be condoned.

Notwithstanding this regrettable development, PANDEF remains unwavering in its commitment to peace, stability, and equitable development in the Niger Delta. We will continue to engage with great vigour, all relevant stakeholders in pursuit of lasting harmony in Rivers State and the broader South-South region.

7. Conclusion

We appreciate your time and attention. Thank you.

Signed

Ambassador Godknows Boladei Igali

Sometimes a woman finds herself at a destination she did not plan for, a place where she neither bargained for nor boarded a bus or plane to. She just wakes up and finds herself there, a totally new place where she has to learn a new language, new coping skills, a different way of life. What is she supposed to do especially when the new place brings with it both fortune and challenges?

Let us start with a woman who married a young brilliant middle-income man when they were both junior executives in a bank, and then 20 years later, he becomes a traditional ruler! Two decades in the banking sector means they had gone really far, travelled wide and were already looking at soon becoming Executive Directors or even something bigger on the Directors’ floor. Who has an idea what becoming a traditional ruler in Nigeria, Africa entails? The difference between being a Regional Manager of a bank and becoming a wife, mother and queen is like the distance between Lagos and Australia.
Taiwo is overwhelmed. Yes, she knew her husband was a prince but she never thought the royal rotation would swing that fast in their lifetime. But two kings died in quick succession and just like that, her husband was chosen by the royal house and the oracle to go step into his ancestors’ shoes.

‘We were both just building our careers and minding our business in our corner of the banking world. We had had our share of couples’ trouble but nothing close to that weekend when the elders of the family and kingmakers came to deliver their royal message. Of course, we started with shock, denial, resistance. Then when they left, the arguments started, followed by tension, confusion, more arguments and even ultimatums.’
Why you?

Couldn’t they have chosen your uncle, a more elderly prince?
What is going to happen to our plans? Are you actually going to accept it, leave Lagos and move to your hometown?
What about the children, their schools?
Must I follow you home?

Taiwo was faced with the option of staying back in Lagos and losing her place and position in her husband’s life. A Yoruba king is incomplete without his queen or queens. That last part was a major concern, major trouble. Yoruba Oba tend to keep harems. First. He traditionally inherits the wives of the late kings, that is if he they are alive and living in the palace. The details of the inheritance are royal secrets, as many as he wants. Then he can marry more, , after all he is the ‘husband of the town and second-in-command to the creator.’ Anyway, here is a banker, now an Olori, faced with tough life-changing decisions. She does not want to stop working or end her career. She does not want her husband to turn his back on his heritage but she does not look forward to becoming the ‘iya wa’ or Senior Olori with young Oloris prancing up and down the palace and stealing the home she built.

Yours sincerely has two friends who are Oloris. I also have friends who are traditional rulers, two of whose wives opted to live outside the palace, ceding their queen thrones to new queens. It is a tough choice for a woman. Our traditional stools are tasking and some of them do not want to share the occupiers of the stools with their wives. So, what is your advice for a doctor, banker, politician whose husband suddenly becomes a king? How does one move from city life to the slow and quietness of the countryside and ‘bed-sharing’?

A friend’s marriage just graduated from ‘separation’ to divorce because her husband decided to obey ‘the call upon his life’ to move into full-time ministry. ‘Yes, I am a Christian but I am not ready to be a Pastor’s wife or Mummy G.O. We had been on this matter for years and I had always told him that the rigours of following a pastor all over the place was not one that I wanted. He could be a pastor but a full-time one? No. It would mean me picking the family bills, dropping certain ways of life I am already used to, being constantly under scrutiny, fasting and almost permanently living in the church but he insisted that the call had become too loud to be ignored.’ That was how my friend moved abroad. He is miserable. She is miserable. The marriage is almost over. How does one counsel a woman in a case like this?

What about where the struggling young man you married makes good quickly. One year, you are scrimping and saving to make rent and in just five years, you have moved into a five-star estate and driving luxury cars? A wife should be happy and thank her stars, right? Well, that comes with its own challenges too. This rich husband is hardly ever at home and the women winking and blinking at him are a different story. Those who are not doing juju are using every known and unknown feminine whiles to take him away from you. Then the ‘poor’ wife wakes up one morning and there are love children in the mix and curvaceous women are parading themselves as the other ‘Mrs’. To worsen an already bad case, a couple of those desperate women are daughters of the husband’s benefactor or business partners, men he does not want to wrong. Well, the wife is feeling wronged and oppressed.

What should a wife expect if her husband finds wealth early? What should she not do, think or consider? How does she enjoy that wealth without depression and high blood pressure?
The politician’s wife. Sounds already like the title of a book or a movie, a life of drama. Are you smiling or shaking your head? She is the envy of many women, even men. Her husband is powerful, connected, influential. She is the grand hostess whose home is haven for men and women who are movers and shakers in her community, state or in the country. But there is the private pain, the tears she wets her pillows with because of who her husband is. Her husband is busy, hardly ever available even when he is sitting right beside her. His libido is down because he is preoccupied, he says but she believes it is because he is servicing many websites outside.

How exactly do you counsel a woman whose husband’s changed status throws her into the deep end of the pool when she never thought she would ever need to swim?
Please share your thoughts via email, Facebook and Whatsapp.


Re – The problem with the whole truth
I agree 100% with the article. Men flaunt their previous escapades (my children told me it is currently called body count) as validation of their ability to engage. Unfortunately, they also love a ‘tear leather’ virgin or manage a lady who can pretend that no man has climbed them but lost their virginity during the final tournament a long-jump Olympics.
Women should be wise. Please don’t tell in graphic details your past even if your man has given a 10-page detail of his. Unfortunately, it is men’s world. His own previous escapade is termed a ‘badge of honor’ while your own is ‘a shameful’ past!
Men are selfish. A widower on the average remarries two or three years after the passing of his wife. Unfortunately, a widow may not have another opportunity, unless God intervenes.
Our women should be wise.
-Tunde